Who were Diana's true friends?

[amabel]

I
other relationships the stress level between them was still very high.

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Diana was stressed out not "sick". A supportive husband could have helped her not someone who made fun of her bulimia.

Charles was said to have turned to his mistress as early as 1983 (TWO years after the marriage). He didn't giv the marriage much of a chance IMO.

But Charles DID try and get her help with her bulimia.  He got her to see therapists from the first few months of hteir marriage.  If she refused to admit she had bulimia, if she would not talk to the therapists about it, I don't see what Charles or anyone could do....

Sarah Spencer Di's own sister who had had eating problems herself said something like "we'd like to talk to her about it"... but either didn't, or did and found that it was doing no good.  People with addictions are not easy to help. You cannot help them until they themselves are willing to make a change.

As for the Charles returned to his mistress in 1983 we do not know that... his sotry is that it was in 1986...  the truth is that we dont know....

[dianab]

Sarah Spencer Di's own sister who had had eating problems herself said something like "we'd like to talk to her about it"... but either didn't, or did and found that it was doing no good.  People with addictions are not easy to help. You cannot help them until they themselves are willing to make a change.

Is well-known Lady Sarah never cared for problems that Diana was going through, Sarah always chose keep distance of Diana's problelms. In Sarah Bradford book have a quote of their friend mutual -  I dont remember very well now, if Sarah Bradford talked personally or quote was some source of another book.

Diana started her treatment because Carolyn Bartholomew pressed her. I doubt some Spencer someday woud put Diana above to/of Windsors or public opinion about them. Carolyn Bartholomew said to Diana for searched treatment or she would go to press.

In Sarah Bradford book is STATED Diana definitely hadnt some sort of support of her family. Bradford herself wrote dont understand because Frances, Sarah or Jane dont help Diana on bulimia. Also is stated not only in her book, but in others too, Diana find a surrogate family in her friends, especially in her close older female friends (ie Lady Annabel Godsmith, Lucia Flecha de Lima).

Do you really think was some coincidence Diana started have close older friends since middle/late 1980s?
For me this says a lot about the sort support that received of her family, about the relationship of Spencers with Diana.

James Coulthurst also said Diana felt let down for her family.

[amabel]

Yes I don't think her family were very supportive, but it does not alter the fact that Charles DID try and get her to see psychiatrists for help with her problems including the bulimia and that she wouldn't' talk to the doctors about it.  It is difficult ot help people who are addicted to something and really all you can do is be there and try and get them towards a good doctor or therapist when TEHY are ready.  I don't know wehter Sarah S did talk to her about the problems but whether she did  or not, it seems to me that it would have done no good.  Diana was seeing doctors and so on but she would not admit she had the problems...

[cinrit]

I did read that some of the servants cared and felt uncomfortable lying to Diana.

Well, there you have it ... the dilemma.  It has nothing to do with how anyone feels about anyone.  It has to do with whether or not to tell your friend if you know their spouse is cheating on them.   It has nothing to do with whether or not you aid and abet your friend in cheating on their spouse.  Those are two different situations.

Cindy

Big difference.The servant were paid employees. They felt they had no choice but obey Charles and lie to Diana. THey may have had families to support. Charles was wrong IMO to use them as tools to deceive his wife.

No, there isn't a big difference.  The "dilemma" is whether or not to tell if you know that the spouse of a friend is cheating on them.  The movie happens to focus on a friend knowing, and not being able to decide whether or not to risk his relationship with his friend by telling.  It doesn't matter if the person who knows about it is a friend, a family member, or an employee ... it's hard to know what to do.  Whether the reason for the dilemma is fear of losing a friendship, fear of incurring the wrath of a family member, or fear of putting your job in jeopardy, it is a dilemma.  How is that not understandable? 

As for Charles being wrong for asking his employees to keep quiet, we've been over than a few dozen times. 

Cindy

[sandy]

I
other relationships the stress level between them was still very high.

.

Diana was stressed out not "sick". A supportive husband could have helped her not someone who made fun of her bulimia.

Charles was said to have turned to his mistress as early as 1983 (TWO years after the marriage). He didn't giv the marriage much of a chance IMO.

But Charles DID try and get her help with her bulimia.  He got her to see therapists from the first few months of hteir marriage.  If she refused to admit she had bulimia, if she would not talk to the therapists about it, I don't see what Charles or anyone could do....

Sarah Spencer Di's own sister who had had eating problems herself said something like "we'd like to talk to her about it"... but either didn't, or did and found that it was doing no good.  People with addictions are not easy to help. You cannot help them until they themselves are willing to make a change.

As for the Charles returned to his mistress in 1983 we do not know that... his sotry is that it was in 1986...  the truth is that we dont know....

This is not true about Sarah.There is no documentation that Sarah intervened. The Spencers even Diana's mother had a "hands off" attititude.

Charles needed help too IMO. I think both should have gone for marriage counselng. The trouble was he only sent Diana for it.HE had issues too (jealousy, skewed morals) and perhaps their BOTH talking it out to a counselor or psychologist would hve worked wonders.

If you back up Charles for being so kind and sensitive, how do you justify his making fun of her bulimia. And it was  relatively short time into the marriage that he acted this way.

[sandy]

I did read that some of the servants cared and felt uncomfortable lying to Diana.

Well, there you have it ... the dilemma.  It has nothing to do with how anyone feels about anyone.  It has to do with whether or not to tell your friend if you know their spouse is cheating on them.   It has nothing to do with whether or not you aid and abet your friend in cheating on their spouse.  Those are two different situations.

Cindy

Big difference.The servant were paid employees. They felt they had no choice but obey Charles and lie to Diana. THey may have had families to support. Charles was wrong IMO to use them as tools to deceive his wife.

No, there isn't a big difference.  The "dilemma" is whether or not to tell if you know that the spouse of a friend is cheating on them.  The movie happens to focus on a friend knowing, and not being able to decide whether or not to risk his relationship with his friend by telling.  It doesn't matter if the person who knows about it is a friend, a family member, or an employee ... it's hard to know what to do.  Whether the reason for the dilemma is fear of losing a friendship, fear of incurring the wrath of a family member, or fear of putting your job in jeopardy, it is a dilemma.  How is that not understandable? 

As for Charles being wrong for asking his employees to keep quiet, we've been over than a few dozen times. 

Cindy

I don't thnk Charles friends were in any dilemma." They knew and wanted to be "in" with the future King so of course it would be a no brainer to provide safe houses to please the Great Man. The friends really had nothing to lose but to them the asssociation with the Great Man would mean Advancement and being in with the "right people." I think the friends were sell-outs who parked any sense of decency along with their brains to let CHarles have fun wth his mistress in their homes.

[amabel]

I
other relationships the stress level between them was still very high.

.

Diana was stressed out not "sick". A supportive husband could have helped her not someone who made fun of her bulimia.

Charles was said to have turned to his mistress as early as 1983 (TWO years after the marriage). He didn't giv the marriage much of a chance IMO.

But Charles DID try and get her help with her bulimia.  He got her to see therapists from the first few months of hteir marriage.  If she refused to admit she had bulimia, if she would not talk to the therapists about it, I don't see what Charles or anyone could do....

Sarah Spencer Di's own sister who had had eating problems herself said something like "we'd like to talk to her about it"... but either didn't, or did and found that it was doing no good.  People with addictions are not easy to help. You cannot help them until they themselves are willing to make a change.

As for the Charles returned to his mistress in 1983 we do not know that... his sotry is that it was in 1986...  the truth is that we dont know....

This is not true about Sarah.There is no documentation that Sarah intervened. The Spencers even Diana's mother had a "hands off" attititude.

Im sorry WHat is not true about Sarah?  I siad that she has been quoted as saying "we'd liek ot talk ot her about it", but there's no definite evidence that she did... Please read my post

[sandy]

Sarah and Jane were like two brick walls when Diana expressed doubts about marriage. Oh they said Bad Luck Duch too late to back out of it now. I think  Diana' s family largely took a hands off attitutde. Sarah saying "she'd like to" is not the same as Diana's friend actually speaking up and taking action and talking to Diana.

[cinrit]

Sarah and Jane were like two brick walls when Diana expressed doubts about marriage. Oh they said Bad Luck Duch too late to back out of it now. I think  Diana' s family largely took a hands off attitutde. Sarah saying "she'd like to" is not the same as Diana's friend actually speaking up and taking action and talking to Diana.

Maybe it's just me, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt when I don't know the facts.  When someone says that they'd "like to" talk to someone about something, that usually means that they've tried and failed.  Isn't it possible that Diana's sisters tried to talk to her about her bulimia and were rebuffed before they could even get started?  It's not uncommon for that to happen.

Cindy

[dianab]

Sarah and Jane were like two brick walls when Diana expressed doubts about marriage. Oh they said Bad Luck Duch too late to back out of it now. I think  Diana' s family largely took a hands off attitutde. Sarah saying "she'd like to" is not the same as Diana's friend actually speaking up and taking action and talking to Diana.

Maybe it's just me, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt when I don't know the facts.  When someone says that they'd "like to" talk to someone about something, that usually means that they've tried and failed.  Isn't it possible that Diana's sisters tried to talk to her about her bulimia and were rebuffed before they could even get started?  It's not uncommon for that to happen.

Cindy

There is NOT some evidence about what you're talking.

[cinrit]

Sarah and Jane were like two brick walls when Diana expressed doubts about marriage. Oh they said Bad Luck Duch too late to back out of it now. I think  Diana' s family largely took a hands off attitutde. Sarah saying "she'd like to" is not the same as Diana's friend actually speaking up and taking action and talking to Diana.

Maybe it's just me, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt when I don't know the facts.  When someone says that they'd "like to" talk to someone about something, that usually means that they've tried and failed.  Isn't it possible that Diana's sisters tried to talk to her about her bulimia and were rebuffed before they could even get started?  It's not uncommon for that to happen.

Cindy

There is NOT some evidence about what you're talking.

I didn't say there was.  I said I like to give people the benefit of the doubt when I don't know the facts.  (Does anyone read our posts with complete understanding?  There are some of us who continue to be misquoted and misinterpreted.)  And for that matter, there is no evidence of what you're saying, either.  So we're on common ground.  I just prefer to believe that everybody wasn't "out to get" Diana, or that "nobody cared about" her.  Why would you want to think that?  It doesn't say anything good about Diana if that were true ... which it is not.

Cindy

[amabel]

I think that teh Spencers weren't all that helpful, considering that Sarah S did have eating disorders herself... but mabye she did try and Diana rebuffed her.  I do think that people with addictions are not easy to help and it wasn't until Di herslef had reached a point where she was reawdy to seek help that she got it and began to  improve.

[sandy]

I doubt Diana rebuffed Sarah or Sarah "tried." I think there would be more clear cut evidence ifi he had. SOmetimes a friend like Caroline Bartholomew can be more effective than a sister. THe Spencers also had a "hands off" attitude generally. Frances Shand Kydd as good as admitted this to her biographer.

[dianab]

I think that teh Spencers weren't all that helpful, considering that Sarah S did have eating disorders herself... but mabye she did try and Diana rebuffed her.  I do think that people with addictions are not easy to help and it wasn't until Di herslef had reached a point where she was reawdy to seek help that she got it and began to  improve.

Diana searched treatment because she was pressed for Carolyn B.

Sarah and Jane were like two brick walls when Diana expressed doubts about marriage. Oh they said Bad Luck Duch too late to back out of it now. I think  Diana' s family largely took a hands off attitutde. Sarah saying "she'd like to" is not the same as Diana's friend actually speaking up and taking action and talking to Diana.

Maybe it's just me, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt when I don't know the facts.  When someone says that they'd "like to" talk to someone about something, that usually means that they've tried and failed.  Isn't it possible that Diana's sisters tried to talk to her about her bulimia and were rebuffed before they could even get started?  It's not uncommon for that to happen.

Cindy

There is NOT some evidence about what you're talking.

I didn't say there was.  I said I like to give people the benefit of the doubt when I don't know the facts.  (Does anyone read our posts with complete understanding?  There are some of us who continue to be misquoted and misinterpreted.)  And for that matter, there is no evidence of what you're saying, either.  So we're on common ground.  I just prefer to believe that everybody wasn't "out to get" Diana, or that "nobody cared about" her.  Why would you want to think that?  It doesn't say anything good about Diana if that were true ... which it is not.

Cindy

There's A LOT evidence the Spencers dont gives support to Diana, this is in a lot of bios, one is Bradford book. When James Coultherst said for Diana somehow dont complain about the Spencers in Her True Story, she said felt let down for her family.

[cinrit]

I just prefer to believe that everybody wasn't "out to get" Diana, or that "nobody cared about" her.  Why would you want to think that?  It doesn't say anything good about Diana if that were true ... which it is not.

Cindy

There's A LOT evidence the Spencers dont gives support to Diana, this is in a lot of bios, one is Bradford book. When James Coultherst said for Diana somehow dont complain about the Spencers in Her True Story, she said felt let down for her family.

I never said her family didn't let her down.  I said I don't believe that everybody was out to get Diana.  Read my post above.  Please stop misquoting me.  Thanks. :)

Cindy

[sandy]

I wouldn't say the Spencers were "out the get Diana" but had a hands off attitude and didn't want to interfere.

[dianab]

I wouldn't say the Spencers were "out the get Diana" but had a hands off attitude and didn't want to interfere.

In my opinion, Diana had friends was more there for her, and interested in her well-being than the Spencers. Simply they were interested in Diana, the person not in connections with the BRF.

Do you imagine someone of Spencers saying to Diana you searched treatment or I will go to press?

In my opinion Diana searched  - and find  - a family in her older friends, especially Lady Annabel Goldsmith and Lucia Flecha de Lima. For me when an adult woman start to search older friendships, who gives to this person an family feeling/sense, and this person have parents, siblings all alive, for me says a lot the sort of relationship with her relatives.
I dont think is coincidence all these reports - & in bios after death of Diana - about Lady Annabel Goldsmith and Lucia Flecha de Lima be her surrogate mothers.

[dianab]

I wouldn't say the Spencers were "out the get Diana" but had a hands off attitude and didn't want to interfere.

In my opinion, Diana had friends was more there for her, and interested in her well-being than the Spencers. Simply they were interested in Diana, the person not in connections with the BRF.

For everything I read all of this years, the Spencers chose their connections with BRF. From there, in my opinion (for read of many biographers too) I have a idea as much they cared and supported Diana.

Do you imagine someone of Spencers saying to Diana you searched treatment or I will go to press?

In my opinion Diana searched  - and find  - a family in her older friends, especially Lady Annabel Goldsmith and Lucia Flecha de Lima. For me when an adult woman start to search older friendships, who gives to this person an family feeling/sense, and this person have parents, siblings all alive, for me says a lot the sort of relationship with her relatives.
I dont think is coincidence all these reports - & in bios after death of Diana - about Lady Annabel Goldsmith and Lucia Flecha de Lima be her surrogate mothers.

[dianab]

After all, I dont think Frances was all this different of her mother. She let down her daughter too, I read in somewhere  she said was great and wonderful mother. No Comments

[sandy]

Diana reported that when she alluded to any problem to her father, he just answered in platitudes. I think he just didn't want to deal with it.

Frances admitted to her biographer she had a hands off attitude towards Diana's marriage and kept any doubts to herself after the engagement. She did lash out at Charles when he whinged at Harry's Christening that he wanted a daughter. Frances who lost a baby who died shortly after brith snapped at hm that he should be happy he has a healthy baby. Charles stopped speaking to her for a time after that. She also told her attorney that  she didn't want Charles at her funeral  (and put it in her will).

[Scarlet Flowers]

I never said her family didn't let her down.  I said I don't believe that everybody was out to get Diana.  Read my post above.  Please stop misquoting me.  Thanks. :)

Cindy

I don't believe anyone was out to get her either.  I think her experiences left her paranoid.

[sandy]

Well there were people out to undermine her includiing Camilla and her husband's Highgrove Pals and Charles himself. The Spencers were more in avoidance mode though her royalist grandmther Lady Fermoy took Charles's side.