Prince Harry admits seeking counselling after two years of 'total chaos' as he struggled to come to terms with his mother's death
Prince Harry admits counselling after Diana's death | Daily Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4417004/Prince-Harry-admits-counselling-Diana-s-death.html)
Double post auto-merged: April 16, 2017, 10:21:18 PM
Prince Harry: I sought counselling after death of mother led to two years of 'total chaos' in my twenties - exclusive Telegraph interview
Prince Harry: I sought counselling after the death of my mother led to two years of 'total chaos' in my twenties - exclusive Telegraph interview (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/04/16/prince-harry-sought-counselling-death-mother-led-two-years-total/)
Double post auto-merged: April 16, 2017, 10:26:17 PM
https://d2kmm3vx031a1h.cloudfront.net/pRET1nnVSamUOCgUIRTW_telemon.JPG
The exclusive Telegraph interview is very personal and heartfelt! It was wonderful of Harry to share his feelings this way and being able to listen to him actually speaking about his own struggles is very encouraging. I think that he is a terrific man. I thought the interviewer was very good too.
It is quite hard to grieve when everyone is trying to use you for their own motives. I am glad that Harry found the time, space and professional support to properly grieve for his mum. Feeling like punching someone is no way to go through life.
Prince Harry Was 'Very Close to a Complete Breakdown,' Sought Therapy After Mother Diana's Death
Prince Harry Talks Grief, Seeking Therapy After Mother Diana's Death - Us Weekly (http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/prince-harry-talks-grief-seeking-therapy-after-mother-dianas-death-w477068?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=daily&utm_campaign=041617_19)
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 12:33:14 AM
Prince Harry Reveals He Entered Therapy After 2 Years of 'Total Chaos' in His Late 20s
Prince Harry Entered Therapy in Late 20s After Diana Death (http://people.com/royals/prince-harry-therapy-princess-diana-death-chaos-20s/?xid=email-email-peopledaily-20170416PM-tout1)
This is one of the most extraordinary and profound interviews I've ever heard a member of the BRF give, actually. Harry describes shutting down emotionally pretty well from the age of 12 to 28 until he sought help. He talks about 'flight or fight' feelings at Royal engagements, about chaos in his life in his late twenties, what a help William was to him and how he feels so much better and freed from constraint he feels now, leading to improvements in his public and private life. I think this is terribly moving and I'm glad he did it.
Quote"My brother, you know, bless him, he was a huge support to me. He kept saying this is not right, this is not normal"
-Prince Harry
Thank goodness Harry realized that it was time to acknowledge that he needed the help that a mental healthcare professional could provide for him. Also finding a physical outlet with boxing must have been a much needed form of release.
Thank you
@sara8150 for sharing all of the links for Harry's interview.
Why oh why didn't Charles insist that his sons, especially the 12 year old Harry, receive grief counselling after Diana's death? Harry said in this interview that he closed himself off for years. However, if a young teenager becomes virtually emotionless about the death of a parent and doesn't speak of her, wouldn't the remaining parent think something was up?
Was Charles so wrapped up in his own situation that he was oblivious to his child's issues? It took William, when Harry was in his late twenties, to urge his brother to seek help. I think that's pretty appalling, actually.
Prince Harry sought counselling after hiding Diana death grief
Prince Harry sought counselling after hiding Diana death grief - BBC News (http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-39618169)
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 04:51:40 AM
Prince Harry reveals counselling over Diana's death after years of 'chaos'
Prince Harry reveals counselling over Diana's death after years of 'chaos' (http://news.sky.com/story/prince-harry-reveals-counselling-over-dianas-death-after-years-of-chaos-10840336)
Quote from: Curryong on April 17, 2017, 04:04:59 AM
Why oh why didn't Charles insist that his sons, especially the 12 year old Harry, receive grief counselling after Diana's death? Harry said in this interview that he closed himself off for years. However, if a young teenager becomes virtually emotionless about the death of a parent and doesn't speak of her, wouldn't the remaining parent think something was up?
Was Charles so wrapped up in his own situation that he was oblivious to his child's issues? It took William, when Harry was in his late twenties, to urge his brother to seek help. I think that's pretty appalling, actually.
perhaps because if you "insist" on people having counselling, it is not their choice nad does no good.
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 04:56:12 AM
Quote from: royalanthropologist on April 16, 2017, 11:45:46 PM
It is quite hard to grieve when everyone is trying to use you for their own motives. I am glad that Harry found the time, space and professional support to properly grieve for his mum. Feeling like punching someone is no way to go through life.
who was using him for their own motives???
Prince Harry sought counseling to cope with Diana's death
Prince Harry sought counseling to cope with Diana's death - CNN.com (http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/17/europe/uk-prince-harry-diana-death/index.html)
Well, perhaps 'insist' was the wrong word. 'Explore the options' then. Charles seemed to be so caught up in work in those years when Harry was a young teenager. He had Tiggy and Mark Dyer as mentors but there were many times when Harry was in his mid teens and using cannabis and drinking when he was left alone at Highgrove in the holidays. Charles apparently made a remark when Harry was sixteen that he hadn't spent enough time with him.
When Kate Winslet received an award at BP some years ago she spoke to the Queen about trying to balance a film career with her position as a mother which was more important to her than being an actress. The Queen replied 'Yes, motherhood is the most important thing of all'
So is fatherhood.
Charles has a very conciliatory parenting style and would not dream of imposing counselling on his children
@Curryong. Harry may have shut down for years, but it does not mean that he was not getting support from his father. I know the "Charles is a bad father" meme has been around since the 1980s but to me it all seems like a work of fiction. The man has a very good relationship with his children. There are occasional spats, just like any parents but overall it is a good relationship. Certainly far better than the one Charles had with his dad and mum.
@amabel. Diana's death was lifted from being a private event to a very public event. It was a time overwhelmed with bitter recriminations and the mob mentality. The floral fascists were on the lookout for anyone who seemed not be grieving deeply enough. Tony Blair and his spin doctors used it to try and muscle out the queen. Republicans were celebrating the end of the monarchy. Situational monarchists were illogically demanding a change of succession that would mean William supplanting his own father in a coup d'etat.
Every Tom, Dick, Harry, Susan and their uncle was giving opinions about how and why the royal family should grieve. Harry's remaining family was being constantly attacked by people for their own selfish motives. Every gesture on Harry and William's part was being analyzed by obsessives to see whether they disliked their father or his family. That horrible man Al Fayed was accusing their grandfather of murdering their own mother. Add that to the fact that royal family does not generally like to give way to this displays of excessive emotions. The first service following their death did not even mention Diana. The royal family was ostriching as per usual. It was one of the strangest deaths and funeral rituals of all time.
Frankly speaking I would be very surprised if those children did not feel frightened by the whole experience. Even what should have been a dignified funeral service was somehow hijacked by Charles Spencer with his hypocritical histrionics. The two kids had to make a split decision whether to clap, cry or stay silent like the royal family. Even that was interpreted as a snub. To this day, any article celebrating Diana or remembering her brings out the trolls with their copy and paste ad hominen attacks about the royal family. Shutting down emotionally was a defense mechanism.
Yes, Charles has a better relationship with his sons than he had with his parents. However, that's setting the bar pretty low isn't it?
If Charles was the devoted hands-on parent that is claimed then why did he need the help of mentors Tiggy and Mark Dyer? The boys only had six weeks holiday a year from their boarding school. Yet Charles couldn't spare that from his schedule? If he was so intuitive why didn't Harry in that moving interview speak about his father giving him support as a grieving teenager? All we heard was William's urging him to get help.
You know, of course about the actions of Charles and his staff (notably Bolland) in leaking sympathetic reports to the media of Charles's immediate response when Harry was found drinking and smoking pot as a teenager, reports that later on were proved to be a self-serving lie
But no, Charles couldnt possibly be wrong in any aspect of his parenting. Just as he was/is the perfect boyfriend, husband, lover, companion, so he is the perfect parent, isn't he? Everything written or spoken to the contrary is lies by Diana fans and the media. No suggestion here that he could very well be a flawed human being in lots of areas of his life.
If he is so perfect a parent I wonder why his latest biographer SBS, who has interviewed hundreds of people around Charles, has strongly hinted that he rarely sees the Cambridges or his grandchildren.
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 05:58:01 AM
Prince Charles ?Sold Out? William and Harry To The Tabloids - The Daily Beast (http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/02/19/prince-charles-sold-out-william-and-harry-to-the-tabloids.html)
Quote from: royalanthropologist on April 17, 2017, 05:20:39 AM
Charles has a very conciliatory parenting style and would not dream of imposing counselling on his children @Curryong. Harry may have shut down for years, but it does not mean that he was not getting support from his father. I know the "Charles is a bad father" meme has been around since the 1980s but to me it all seems like a work of fiction. The man has a very good relationship with his children. There are occasional spats, just like any parents but overall it is a good relationship. Certainly far better than the one Charles had with his dad and mum.
@amabel. Diana's death was lifted from being a private event to a very public event. It was a time overwhelmed with bitter recriminations and the mob mentality. The floral fascists were on the lookout for anyone who seemed not be grieving deeply enough. Tony Blair and his spin doctors used it to try Every gesture her
I don't remember all this. Yes there was a lot of emoition in the week or so after Diana died...but the boys were kept "safe" up in Balmoral and not encouraged to watch TV or read papers and were given encouragement ot "get out and wlak" and try and take ther minds off the sadness. Perhaps that wasn't the best thing to do, or perhaps it was.
Harry ad Will went back to school soon and were protected there from too much TV and newspapers.
I would agree that chalres probably did his best for the boys and tired to look after them and make up for the loss of their mother. But that's not easy. NOTHING relly makes up for the loss of a loved parent or someone close.
I think that as the RF are not "touchy feely" they would not think of counselling as a first resort, but if Harry was being difficult, or seemed very depressed, or a doctor had suggested it, they would have probably insisted he at least TRY it. But I think that with counsellng it probably does not do any good unless the person really wants to do it.
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 06:13:41 AM
Quote from: Curryong on April 17, 2017, 05:41:28 AM
Yes, Charles has a better relationship with his sons than he had with his parents. However, that's setting the bar pretty low isn't it?
If Charles was the devoted hands-on parent that is claimed then why did he need the help of mentors Tiggy and Mark Dyer? The boys only had six weeks holiday a year from their boarding school. Yet Charles couldn't spare that from his schedule? If he was so intuitive why didn't Harry in that moving interview speak about his father giving him support as a grieving teenager? All we heard was William's urging him to get help.
You know, of course about the actions of Charles and his staff (notably Bolland) in leaking sympathetic reports to the media of Charles's immediate response when Harry was found drinking and smoking pot as a teenager, reports that later on were proved to be a self-serving lie
But no, Charles couldnt possibly be wrong in any aspect of his parenting. Just as he was/is the perfect boyfriend, husband, lover, companion, so he is the perfect parent, isn't he? Everything written or spoken to the contrary is lies by Diana fans and the media. No suggestion here that he could very well be a flawed human being in lots of areas of his life.
If he is so perfect a parent I wonder why his latest biographer SBS, who has interviewed hundreds of people
who says he's a perfect parent>??? he is problaby not great, but I think he tried. I think he knew that Tiggy got on well with the boys and they loved her and enjoyed her company, whereas he himself is probably rather awkward with teenagers and there were long years when he and Diana had been at odds, so it took time for the relationship to heal with the boys. If he was so awful to H after Di's death why is there TV footage when the boys were looking at the flowers, of Harry putting his hand into charles', instinctively and C holding his hand?
^ Of course Harry reached out his hand to his sole surviving parent when he was in the midst of the most intense grief of his young life and on public view.
Charles isn't comfortable with very small children, is awkward with teenagers. Crickey, when is he comfortable? And yes Tiggy was a great comfort to the boys, but it's a pity that Charles couldnt have taken six weeks out of his year after Diana died, to concentrate completely and solely on his sons.
And what of Mark Bolland selling Charles's sons and other royals down the river? If it had been me as a parent finding a close member of staff doing that, you wouldn't see him for dust as I personally threw him out, with probably a kick up the behind for good measure.
Yet Charles continued to employ him to give himself and Camilla a makeover. It took the Queen to step in AGAIN before anything was done. That soured relations between William and his father for ages, and to this day there is suspicion between CH and KP.
The Telegraph on Twitter: "Prince Harry: I sought counselling after death of mother led to two years of 'total chaos' in my twenties (https://twitter.com/telegraph/status/853714148198404098)
Quote from: Curryong on April 17, 2017, 06:54:13 AM
^ Of course Harry reached out his hand to his sole surviving parent when he was in the midst of the most intense grief of his young life and on public view.
Charles isn't comfortable with very small children, is awkward with teenagers. Crickey, when is he comfortable? And yes Tiggy was a great comfort to the boys, but it's a pity that Charles couldnt have taken six weeks out of his year after Diana died, to concentrate completely and solely on his sons.
And
Yet
well I am not comfortable with children and even less so with teenagers..so I quite sympathise...
but I'd say if Chas were such a bad parent as you seem to think Harry would harldy have reached out to hold his hand.
No idea what the story is about Bolland, but I think that Tiggy was someone that Charles believed was a help to his sons and that they would wnat her around when they were at home. whereas Diana threw a fit bout Tiggy and accused her of having an abortion, in front of witnesses, hardly the best behaviour towards a woman that her sons regarded as a big sister
If you look at the link I provided at the bottom of my post No. 11(from the Daily Beast) as well as that post, it will tell you about Bolland. There was plenty about that individual in the media at the time, about his influence over Charles, and what happened with William and Harry, and quite a bit about him in the last two biographies of Charles. What a charmer!
Quote from: Curryong on April 17, 2017, 05:41:28 AM
Yes, Charles has a better relationship with his sons than he had with his parents. However, that's setting the bar pretty low isn't it?
If Charles was the devoted hands-on parent that is claimed then why did he need the help of mentors Tiggy and Mark Dyer? The boys only had six weeks holiday a year from their boarding school. Yet Charles couldn't spare that from his schedule? If he was so intuitive why didn't Harry in that moving interview speak about his father giving him support as a grieving teenager? All we heard was William's urging him to get help.
You know, of course about the actions of Charles and his staff (notably Bolland) in leaking sympathetic reports to the media of Charles's immediate response when Harry was found drinking and smoking pot as a teenager, reports that later on were proved to be a self-serving lie
But no, Charles couldnt possibly be wrong in any aspect of his parenting. Just as he was/is the perfect boyfriend, husband, lover, companion, so he is the perfect parent, isn't he? Everything written or spoken to the contrary is lies by Diana fans and the media. No suggestion here that he could very well be a flawed human being in lots of areas of his life.
If he is so perfect a parent I wonder why his latest biographer SBS, who has interviewed hundreds of people around Charles, has strongly hinted that he rarely sees the Cambridges or his grandchildren.
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 05:58:01 AM
Prince Charles ?Sold Out? William and Harry To The Tabloids - The Daily Beast (http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/02/19/prince-charles-sold-out-william-and-harry-to-the-tabloids.html)
Dyer was not the best influence on Harry IMO. Harry seemed to get into scrapes even when his "mentor" Dyer was around.
Harry was scapegoated more than WIlliam to show Charles was a "great dad." The drug episode where Harry was taken to a rehab facility made headlines throughout the world. Rather awful for a young man to experience--the public relations aspect of his "intervention" that is.
William OTOH got protected, cocooned at St. Andrew's and he never had to apologize for his blunders like commandeering a military helicopter to a stag party.
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 11:09:04 AM
Quote from: royalanthropologist on April 17, 2017, 05:20:39 AM
Charles has a very conciliatory parenting style and would not dream of imposing counselling on his children @Curryong. Harry may have shut down for years, but it does not mean that he was not getting support from his father. I know the "Charles is a bad father" meme has been around since the 1980s but to me it all seems like a work of fiction. The man has a very good relationship with his children. There are occasional spats, just like any parents but overall it is a good relationship. Certainly far better than the one Charles had with his dad and mum.
@amabel. Diana's death was lifted from being a private event to a very public event. It was a time overwhelmed with bitter recriminations and the mob mentality. The floral fascists were on the lookout for anyone who seemed not be grieving deeply enough. Tony Blair and his spin doctors used it to try and muscle out the queen. Republicans were celebrating the end of the monarchy. Situational monarchists were illogically demanding a change of succession that would mean William supplanting his own father in a coup d'etat.
Every Tom, Dick, Harry, Susan and their uncle was giving opinions about how and why the royal family should grieve. Harry's remaining family was being constantly attacked by people for their own selfish motives. Every gesture on Harry and William's part was being analyzed by obsessives to see whether they disliked their father or his family. That horrible man Al Fayed was accusing their grandfather of murdering their own mother. Add that to the fact that royal family does not generally like to give way to this displays of excessive emotions. The first service following their death did not even mention Diana. The royal family was ostriching as per usual. It was one of the strangest deaths and funeral rituals of all time.
Frankly speaking I would be very surprised if those children did not feel frightened by the whole experience. Even what should have been a dignified funeral service was somehow hijacked by Charles Spencer with his hypocritical histrionics. The two kids had to make a split decision whether to clap, cry or stay silent like the royal family. Even that was interpreted as a snub. To this day, any article celebrating Diana or remembering her brings out the trolls with their copy and paste ad hominen attacks about the royal family. Shutting down emotionally was a defense mechanism.
Floral fascists? My word!
Diana's funeral should have been a public not private event. No matter how negatively some feel about her, she was a public feature, the mother of a future King and popular. She died young and in a tragic way. Yes, indeed it should have been public. Hurrah for the Floral Fascists (are they Baskets of Deplorables?)
Harry and William were placed into a Camilla campaign less than a year after their mother died. I found that very tacky.
Charles has tried to be a good parent and as far as I can see his children get along with him just fine. Had he been stricter, there might have been complaints about harassing the kids. Parenting by opinion polls is not advisable. You just do the best you can with the resources available. Certainly those children have wanted for nothing in terms of being looked after. Some would argue that they have actually been indulged a little bit. Which parent can say that their children never had teenage blues? Does that mean you are a bad parent if your children go through a phase? If Charles focused on his children and showered them with attention; there would still be some who complain about not doing enough work. It is a catch 22 and I think Charles did a good job. Certainly I would not say he was perfect: nobody is ever the perfect parent. But I am not convinced by the "Charles is a bad parent" meme either.
Boland was a disgrace and he clearly overstepped the mark. However, I would also point out that Charles is by no means the first royal to use those children in order to earn some good publicity. Not by a long shot. They were being used as pawns in a much larger political game, some of them even suggesting William supplants his father. It was and is still an outrageous suggestion that would divide the family forever.
I am also perplexed as to why it is Charles' fault if Williams prefers to be with the Middleton. That is his choice. Many families go through the phase where a son marries and spends more time with his in-laws. Charles is not the first and is not the last. I think it is rather unfair to use it yet again as a yardstick to push the "Charles is a bad parent" meme. Indeed there would be eyebrows raised if Charles tried to helicopter the domestic arrangements of his children's families. That is not being a good parent...it is being overly possessive and controlling.
well I'veno idea what the "Daily Beast" is and I don't think I could put any credence in what it says. But I agree, Royal that chalres is IMO a middling good parent. He loved the boys, but he was not IMO comfortable iwht them when they got past the baby stage and then he and Di were on very bad terms so I think he left them to her. When she died, as far as I can see he DID tryr harder to be there for them, but by then they were teenagers and teenagers are rebellious and horrible and dififcult, for the most part.
I think he was'nt strict enough on Harry, but if he had been he'd be accused of being a horrible dad to a motherless kid.
as fro William, he is problaby happier with the Middletons because they are much more informal than his own family, and he likes that.. Plus Charles is a hard working serious man and William probably finds him hard going since he himself isn't IMO the most dedicated of workers.
well yes tat's what Spin doctors do.. its a vulgar profession...
As I recall Harry was also seen not only under age drinking but abusing a barman and saying rude things to him. had I been Charles I would have been fuming and kicked his backside.. for him....
Royal spin doctor comes clean about Prince Harry exposé - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1445248/Royal-spin-doctor-comes-clean-about-Prince-Harry-expose.html)
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 12:10:53 PM
Royal spin doctor comes clean about Prince Harry exposé - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1445248/Royal-spin-doctor-comes-clean-about-Prince-Harry-expose.html)
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 12:10:59 PM
Royal spin doctor comes clean about Prince Harry exposé - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1445248/Royal-spin-doctor-comes-clean-about-Prince-Harry-expose.html)
Quote from: amabel on April 17, 2017, 11:39:17 AM
well I'veno idea what the "Daily Beast" is and I don't think I could put any credence in what it says. But I agree, Royal that chalres is IMO a middling good parent. He loved the boys, but he was not IMO comfortable iwht them when they got past the baby stage and then he and Di were on very bad terms so I think he left them to her. When she died, as far as I can see he DID tryr harder to be there for them, but by then they were teenagers and teenagers are rebellious and horrible and dififcult, for the most part.
I think he was'nt strict enough on Harry, but if he had been he'd be accused of being a horrible dad to a motherless kid.
as fro William, he is problaby happier with the Middletons because they are much more informal than his own family, and he likes that.. Plus Charles is a hard working serious man and William probably finds him hard going since he himself isn't IMO the most dedicated of workers.
He was stricter with Harry than WIlliam. Harry had to apologize over and over and atone and his escapades got headlines. William OTOH was no angel and his father apologized on his behalf for an episode where William sped around in his car on someone's estate. His commanding officer took responsibility for WIlliam using a military copter to go to a stag party.
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 12:15:00 PM
Quote from: royalanthropologist on April 17, 2017, 11:32:16 AM
Charles has tried to be a good parent and as far as I can see his children get along with him just fine. Had he been stricter, there might have been complaints about harassing the kids. Parenting by opinion polls is not advisable. You just do the best you can with the resources available. Certainly those children have wanted for nothing in terms of being looked after. Some would argue that they have actually been indulged a little bit. Which parent can say that their children never had teenage blues? Does that mean you are a bad parent if your children go through a phase? If Charles focused on his children and showered them with attention; there would still be some who complain about not doing enough work. It is a catch 22 and I think Charles did a good job. Certainly I would not say he was perfect: nobody is ever the perfect parent. But I am not convinced by the "Charles is a bad parent" meme either.
Boland was a disgrace and he clearly overstepped the mark. However, I would also point out that Charles is by no means the first royal to use those children in order to earn some good publicity. Not by a long shot. They were being used as pawns in a much larger political game, some of them even suggesting William supplants his father. It was and is still an outrageous suggestion that would divide the family forever.
I am also perplexed as to why it is Charles' fault if Williams prefers to be with the Middleton. That is his choice. Many families go through the phase where a son marries and spends more time with his in-laws. Charles is not the first and is not the last. I think it is rather unfair to use it yet again as a yardstick to push the "Charles is a bad parent" meme. Indeed there would be eyebrows raised if Charles tried to helicopter the domestic arrangements of his children's families. That is not being a good parent...it is being overly possessive and controlling.
well William appears to have adopted his wife's family so much so Charles complains he does not see his grandchildren. I think there is trouble in paradise.
Charles did not have to spoil them to pay attention to them. There are other ways of attention like helping them through their problems or even just being there as a confidante.
There was and is no way WIlliam would supplant his father. It was wrong on many levels IMO to use his children to promote Camilla.
Quote
"Not just for you but everybody else around you as well because you become a problem. I, through a lot of my twenties, was a problem and I didn't know how to deal with it."
On eventually seeking help, the Prince said: "It's all about timing. And for me personally, my brother, you know, bless him, he was a huge support to me. He kept saying this is not right, this is not normal, you need to talk to [someone] about stuff, it's OK.
"The timing wasn't right. You need to feel it in yourself, you need to find the right person to talk to as well."
[/b]
From listening to the podcast and reading the Telegraph article it is clear to me that Harry was not ready to fully participate and benefit from treatment until he was willing to open up. Counseling would have been available to him at school or in a private practice, but until he was prepared to engage in with a mental health care professional it would have not been of much use to him. Everyone grieves on their own timeline however Harry has fortunately addressed the issue with his own grief and can now share about his own experiences to others who might be reluctant to seek treatment.
Prince Harry says he 'shut down' his emotions after his mother's death
https://gma.yahoo.com/prince-harry-says-shut-down-emotions-mothers-death-232807431--abc-news-entertainment.html
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 04:05:24 PM
Prince Harry reveals he sought counseling to help deal with Princess Diana's death
Prince Harry reveals he sought counseling to help deal with Princess Diana's death - TODAY.com (http://www.today.com/news/prince-harry-reveals-he-sought-counseling-help-deal-princess-diana-t110447)
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 04:16:49 PM
Prince Harry opens up about grief after Princess Diana's death
Prince Harry talks about his grief, mental health after Princess Diana's death - CBS News (http://www.cbsnews.com/news/prince-harry-mental-health-after-mother-princess-diana-death/)
Double post auto-merged: April 17, 2017, 04:21:33 PM
Prince Harry reveals he sought therapy after experiencing 'total chaos' from mom Princess Diana's death
Prince Harry reveals he sought therapy after experiencing 'total chaos' from mom Princess Diana's death (http://us.hola.com/hola-en-ingles/201704177867/prince-harry-sought-therapy-princess-diana-death/)
Theresa May praises Prince Harry after he opens up about his mental health struggles – Royal Central (http://royalcentral.co.uk/uk/princeharry/theresa-may-praises-prince-harry-after-he-opens-up-about-his-mental-health-struggles-80605)
Quote from: royalanthropologist on April 17, 2017, 10:27:00 PM
Richard Kay (of all people :eyes:) has just written an article in DM suggesting that Prince Charles tried to encourage his sons to talk about their mother after her death, although the family had just been through an acrimonious divorce. Apparently Diana's pictures were brought out to remind the children of them although Charles had originally removed them after the separation. If that is true; then perhaps Charles is not the much-maligned bad parent that some were already suggesting.
Sharing photos, wedding gifts and any other mementos would be a reasonable suggestion from a grief counselor IMO. Quite likely it was a gentle way to get some conversation going with them after they'd moved back in with Charles after the funeral. However I have to say that Charles doesn't strike me as the type of person who would continue to push and engage his sons in conversations about their feelings about the divorce and their mother's death if they showed reluctance to do so. If the boys stated that they were "fine" then I don't see any of their family members pushing them to continue discussing the issue.
It seems to me that Harry was protecting himself by boxing up those feelings and getting on with his life as best that he could during those days, weeks, months after her death. Fortunately he did have some trusted people in his life though that he was willing to share his feelings with and who encouraged him to seek help when it became too much to bear.
The problem with Harry and his loss was confusion. Here you have a child who was due to turn 13 in a couple of weeks he wakes up one morning to the most horrific news of his life his mother has died. He is then taken to church and no one mentioned Diana in prayers and if I remember correctly he asked are you sure mummy is dead?. Now I am not throwing anyone under the bus here but, The RF is usually devoid of all emotion in public and that morning was no different as far as stiff upper lips show. Charles at that time was more interested in how the public perceived him and his relationship with Camilla and in that first year Charles should have made Bolland heel. Diana was the mother of William and Harry and I am sorry but the first year was not the time to trash her memory and I don't buy the excuse that the boys were protected at school you can be sure they saw the headlines even once a week. So it comes as no surprise that Harry bottled up his feelings.
https://www.thecalmzone.net/get-involved/calmzine/
Interview with William and Harry.
^ I completely agree with you on all points, Trudie.
Quote from: TLLK on April 17, 2017, 11:28:13 PM
Quote from: royalanthropologist on April 17, 2017, 10:27:00 PM
Richard Kay (of all people :eyes:) has just written an article in DM suggesting that Prince Charles tried to encourage his sons to talk about their mother after her death, although the family had just been through an acrimonious divorce. Apparently Diana's pictures were brought out to remind the children of them although Charles had originally removed them after the separation. If that is true; then perhaps Charles is not the much-maligned bad parent that some were already suggesting.
Sharing photos, wedding gifts and any other mementos would be a reasonable suggestion from a grief counselor IMO. Quite likely it was a gentle way to get some conversation going with them after they'd moved back in with Charles after the funeral. However I have to say that Charles doesn't strike me as the type of person who would continue to push and engage his sons in conversations about their feelings about the divorce and their mother's death if they showed reluctance to do so. If the boys stated that they were "fine" then I don't see any of their family members pushing them to continue discussing the issue.
It seems to me that Harry was protecting himself by boxing up those feelings and getting on with his life as best that he could during those days, weeks, months after her death. Fortunately he did have some trusted people in his life though that he was willing to share his feelings with and who encouraged him to seek help when it became too much to bear.
true, I think that Charles tried to get the boys to talk, and if they wanted to , he was there. but if they didn't, he problaby wouldn't feel It was a good idea to push them.
Several points.
1---- NOW, well, yes, of course, the SPIN TPTB and SPIN BRF journalists fans of PC and Camilla, will spin, so in, it that Charles tried so hard to listen to the boys, ask them to freely talk to each other and anyone about their mother....Oh pleases.!!!
2----PH is not, was not ever mentally ill. Mentally ill is the wrong phrase.
FACTSSFACTS FACTS FACTS ...lets stick to facts.
1-PH and PW talked to each their and had each other.
They may have had some very good, very close, 1 or 2 friends OUT of all their friends , if that many too talk to. Reread that before anyone say yes the boys had close friends and their families. I said out of all of their combined friends, each boy had 1, maybe 2 who they could confide that much in. We do not tell all to all very close friends. Some people are better prayer warriors , some are better listeners, some are sorrowful but do not know how to take n serious matters and then you have worriers and , Bless their hearts, because they can handle things, but they worryworryworry, wonder,second guess. cry. Feel so sad. Worriers get told some things in a lesser way.
We know PW had K, then K and her family , and then after marriage, K and her family to depend more on . He started calling them Mom and Dad before he got engaged to K. Now, of course, he ahs children and that helps him cope with his feelings, thoughts for his mother.
PH did not have a long term girlfriend, then live-in , then still long term woman and her family , last breakup looking final, and then marriage and kids to help him cope like PW.
2-PW and PH may have had 1 or 2 people from TPTB to talk too, confide in.
3----PC is a good parent and loves them but his background, his position in life, his age, his personality, his mindset, and more is all about him and then everyone else. His feelings for PD. Press for himself and to work on Camilla.
PC talking about PD to the boys, I doubt.
3----After PD died, the moment she died, she was to be buried, by how it looked, quickly and done and quietly as possible.
She was not even buried in the place befitting her name, rank, station in life as MOTHER of the heir and spare, if needed.
Research Tony Blair, the people...I won't repeat all that. PD was a non-subject. Gone. PC and as he married Camilla , it seems TPTB want PD erased . WoW!! To have it seem that your mother is erased....erased from BRF...erased from history....erased.
PC NEVER before the divorce, after and after her death stopped is camp from bad mouthing PD.
4-----That phrase, " We love her to bits" from PH in reference to Camilla, well, it makes sense now and sounds opposite to me. Cordial, respectful, moved on with his life, YES. Trying to appease, be a good boy....be nice...YES YES!!!!!
PW did NOT that . PH spoke for him . NONONONO, I am not saying they despise, hate, feel ill will towards Camilla, but I thinking loving her to bits was PH's extreme phrase coming from a troubled place .
-----------
Back to being mentally ill. Having mental illness. There is nothing wrong with mental illness.
The phrase is thrown around today and is not in a proper context.
PH was not mentally ill. Having gone throw something traumatic-death of a parent at a young age, losing a child, awful divorce, loss of career/job, death of a pet, failing a curse, money loss, illness etc. DOES NOT MEAN MENTALLY ILL!!!
Having to talk to a marriage counselor, financial advisor at your bank, someone at a job placement agency to redirect you in searching for other careers/jobs, a therapist, a lay person trained at your church for different things, school counselor...etc. does not mean mentally ill.
Some of us have better and more coping skills that others. Some people need to learn and seek out coping skills. Some people can handle things better than theirs. Some people can live on with depression after loss of a child than others .
Mentallly ill -needing psychiatric care, heavy mood alternating meds, etc. schizophrenia, 5150 hold at the hospital, committed to a mental institution.
Mentally ill, mental illness is thrown around too lightly.
I am sick . Well I had a cold last year, so can I say I am physically sick? LOL!! No.
I was depressed about some relatives of mine of who died over the past 10 years, but I cannot say I have mental illness etc.
I think the royal family generally have reached a point where they just do what they please. It is so hard to please the public. Now Harry says he misses his mum and how he coped with her loss. That is miraculously translated into an attack on Charles' parenting skills. Harry gives an interview say that Camilla is no wicked step mum and that "he loves her to bits". Somehow that is interpreted as a sign of tension in the family. You really can't win sometimes. It is better to just get on with your life.
QuoteIn an unprecedentedly candid interview, Prince Harry has revealed that he sought counselling in the years after his late mother's death in order to come to terms with his loss.
Speaking to The Daily Telegraph, Prince Harry said that he underwent two years of 'chaos' in his twenties when he came close to a breakdown on a number of occasions.
He said that despite his brother, Prince William, urging Harry to get help, he "shut down all of his emotions" for almost twenty years after Diana, Princess of Wales's death.
Read more:
Prince Harry reveals he has sought counselling to come to terms with his late mother's death – Royal Central (http://royalcentral.co.uk/uk/princeharry/prince-harry-reveals-he-has-sought-counselling-to-come-to-terms-with-his-late-mothers-death-80571)
Double post auto-merged: April 19, 2017, 12:18:53 PM
[mod]
Members, this is a reminder that this thread is about Harry and his counseling NOT about Charles, Camilla or Diana! I've warned you all many times to stay on topic, but since none of you payed attention my other warnings, I am deleting off-topic posts. [/mod]
Duchess of Cambridge: hero Prince Harry has been 'brilliant' (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/04/19/duchess-cambridge-hero-prince-harry-has-brilliant/)
According to the Evening Standard article the mental health organization says that they've seen a 40% increase in calls since Harry's interview was published.
Katie Hopkins faces backlash for comments about Prince William and Harry's mental health campaigning | London Evening Standard (http://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/katie-hopkins-faces-backlash-for-comments-about-prince-william-and-harrys-mental-health-campaigning-a3519016.html)
@ TLLK that is a good thing. Media reporters and commentators that are chastising Harry, William and Kate for speaking out and accusing them of having a pity party have no idea that there are people reluctant to accept help because of those very scathing articles and people suffer in silence Mental wellness is being confused with Mental illness two separate issues. Mental wellness learning coping skills to deal with loss, anxiety etc all of which are normal. Mental illness is treating those with paranoia, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder with medications to ease symptoms to keep from harming themselves or others.
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry spoke openly about mental health issues and the loss of Princess Diana.
UK royals talk candidly about losing Diana - CNN Video (http://www.cnn.com/videos/world/2017/04/21/uk-royals-mental-health-talk-orig-vstop.cnn)
Seems to me this heading should really be "Harry admits he sought cousellnig several years after Diana's death"..
And he did seek counseling sooner to his regret.
Queen?s ?pride? over princes? mental health drive | News | The Times & The Sunday Times (https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/queens-pride-over-princes-mental-health-drive-95jk9k2tr)
I hope she is proud of her grandsons, especially of Harry baring his soul in order to show that princes can hurt too. It's not something she herself would do, or Philip, but it is of this time and I think Harry's glad he unburdened himself in such a natural way. The approach this week has received some sniping on social media, but health professionals were enthusiastic. Says it all really, doesn't it?
If they are doig ti form the right motives, to help others rather than just yarning on about hteir own troubles, yest I'm sure she and Diana would be proud of them.
Amabel you and I have suffered losses recently and I am sure that as I have and you found that grief can become overwhelming. The Princes suffered a great loss as children and I think their motives for speaking out may be the right ones. There are people who sometimes cannot articulate just how deep their loss is especially to friends and family who possibly are grieving with them. Mentally it can take a toll and I found that out upon losing my father twenty four years ago. At the time I was more focused on my mother and siblings and taking care of everything and trying to stay strong well a couple of months later I started getting panic attacks and it was then I sought counseling and learned it is better to receive help in dealing with that all too powerful emotion and it is not a weakness.
No I'm sure they mean well by this speaking out.. though I'm a little surprised that they didn't do it sooner..
"Back to being mentally ill. Having mental illness. There is nothing wrong with mental illness.
The phrase is thrown around today and is not in a proper context.
PH was not mentally ill. Having gone throw something traumatic-death of a parent at a young age, losing a child, awful divorce, loss of career/job, death of a pet, failing a curse, money loss, illness etc. DOES NOT MEAN MENTALLY ILL!!!
Having to talk to a marriage counselor, financial advisor at your bank, someone at a job placement agency to redirect you in searching for other careers/jobs, a therapist, a lay person trained at your church for different things, school counselor...etc. does not mean mentally ill.
Some of us have better and more coping skills that others. Some people need to learn and seek out coping skills. Some people can handle things better than theirs. Some people can live on with depression after loss of a child than others .
Mentallly ill -needing psychiatric care, heavy mood alternating meds, etc. schizophrenia, 5150 hold at the hospital, committed to a mental institution.
Mentally ill, mental illness is thrown around too lightly.
I am sick . Well I had a cold last year, so can I say I am physically sick? LOL!! No.
I was depressed about some relatives of mine of who died over the past 10 years, but I cannot say I have mental illness etc. " FanDianaFancy
Double post auto-merged: April 24, 2017, 09:33:42 AM
Quote from: Trudie on April 21, 2017, 04:22:08 PM
@ TLLK that is a good thing. Media reporters and commentators that are chastising Harry, William and Kate for speaking out and accusing them of having a pity party have no idea that there are people reluctant to accept help because of those very scathing articles and people suffer in silence Mental wellness is being confused with Mental illness two separate issues. Mental wellness learning coping skills to deal with loss, anxiety etc all of which are normal. Mental illness is treating those with paranoia, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder with medications to ease symptoms to keep from harming themselves or others.
I agree with you. I said the same thing. I like how you better phrased it : mental illness vs. mental wellness.
PH was not mentally ill. PD was not mentally ill either.
These is turning on PH and PK.
Her comments about being a new mother.....Being a new mother can be lonely.
Oh please. She had a house full of servants. A close and supportive family. Moved to her Mother and Fathers' house after she had her baby. She had a nanny. Drivers. Housekeepers. No money worries or thoughts of budgeting or putting her child in child care/nursery school at 8-9 weeks ...she had no maternity leave.
YES YES, being a new mother, takes a while hormonely to recover and one's emotions can be different or not the new mothers ' norm.
YESYES. Had she said something like that, then ok.
Their (PW, PH, PK) Royal pity party tour needs to end .
Royals? mental health care crusade will continue to run beyond London Marathon | Royal | News | Express.co.uk (http://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/795108/Royals-William-Kate-Harry-mental-health-campaign-continues)
An estimated ten million pounds has been raised by the Royal Foundation and Heads Together.
10 million is a marvellous total. I hope it is distributed wisely and really gets down to ground roots level. Of course, what is really needed is the government to come to the party, back mental health initiatives to the hilt and help train more counsellors.
What is happening in the real world unfortunately is that governments everywhere are cutting back resources in vital areas. The upshot is that community agencies like the one in which I work are seeing dozens of people each week with severe mental health problems and nowhere to go.
what is needed IMO are people working in counseling etc who know their job. Money can't buy skills.. or dedication.
Royal trio are ?mental health game changers after their campaign helped charity | Royal | News | Express.co.uk (http://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/798255/Royals-helped-mental-health-charity-boost)
I hope the campaign has been a game changer. However, encouraging people to seek help, admirable as that is, doesn't help when there are long waiting lists to see NHS psychiatrists and counsellors or to be booked in to a facility dealing with drug psychosis for example. It was a blow to see government cutbacks to health services announced only days after the intensive Heads Together campaign had finished a week of well publicised work.
Quote from: amabel on April 27, 2017, 04:57:17 AM
what is needed IMO are people working in counseling etc who know their job. Money can't buy skills.. or dedication.
Agreed, although I think burnout is a real problem here. You can only talk to so many abused kids before you close shop and find a happier job.
Prince Harry says being in Afghanistan 'triggered' him, made him face his issues regarding Princess Diana's death | Fox News (http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2017/06/21/prince-harry-says-being-in-afghanistan-triggered-him-made-him-face-his-issues-regarding-princess-dianas-death.html)
Of course many of these articles and interviews have a link to the HeadsTogether campaign, and encouraging members of the Forces, especially vets to talk about their issues and if necessary seek help for them.
It's great that Harry spoke at length a few weeks ago about his own problems, which as he says, weren't specifically service-related, and there's some evidence that ex service personnel did respond by calling Help-lines and mental health organisations/charities. So that's good. The danger is, I think, that the public may become tired of his and the Cambridges narrative on their own mental health. I'm not talking here about the nutters and moaners on DM online, but in general. So it might be wise to cool it for a bit.
However, I am interested in what Harry and William have to say about their mother's death and funeral in two docos which are to be shown near the 20th anniversary of Diana's death. We may get some insight there as to how it affected them and about the public and BRF expectations at that time.
I think it a tactical error of harry to say he did not want to walk in back of coffin. He may well have regretted it if he had not.
He may have meant that pressure was put on him subtle or otherwise, as a twelve year old boy, to walk behind the cortège. The tabloids has rushed to publicise, as usual, the parts of the interview it thinks will get its readers stirred up, in a cherry picking sort of way.
I've decided I'm going to buy Newsweek and read the entire article, not the bits and bobs the DM and others want people to read. Also, I'm going to wait for the two documentaries about Diana, her death and funeral, when they come on TV in the coming weeks so we can get what they really think/thought about it all, from the horse(s) mouths, so to speak.
QuoteThe tabloids has rushed to publicise, as usual, the parts of the interview it thinks will get its readers stirred up, in a cherry picking sort of way.
A dubious and lucrative practice for most media outlets. <_<
Double post auto-merged: June 22, 2017, 03:29:15 PM
QuoteHe may have meant that pressure was put on him subtle or otherwise, as a twelve year old boy, to walk behind the cortège.
I agree
@Curryong. IMO most logical people can understand that at twelve he wasn't going to have much say in the matter.
I think that certainly Will was old enough to walk, and that harry should have kept this private. I'm getting more and more dubius about this heads together stuff