Frances Shand Kydd\'s burial site.

[Curryong]

This thing in the tabloids about Diana's grave brought thoughts up for me of Frances Shand Kydd's burial site, in a cemetery on the outskirts of Oban. I just wonder why she chose such an out of the way spot. It's hundreds of miles away from the homes of her surviving children and grandchildren, making it virtually impossible for them to visit her grave regularly.

And she was divorced from Peter, so there was/is no husband to tend the grave. Admittedly Frances loved the bleak wildness and scenery of Scotland, even though she had little Scots blood. However to me there seems to be a certain oddness about it, almost as if she wanted to tuck herself far away from her family.
Double post auto-merged: August 28, 2019, 11:25:18 AM

'A life of luxury stripped sparse by tragedy'.

Life of luxury stripped sparse by tragedy - The Scotsman

An article in a Scottish newspaper written shortly after Frances Kydd's death. I didn't know about the enormous amount of charity work and bereavement counselling she undertook. Perhaps Frances was more like her daughter than anyone realised.

[TLLK]

A very varied and eclectic choice of charities, but she seemed very devoted to them. She comforted the families who lost their fishermen at sea and took no less than 15 pilgrimages to Lourdes. Thank you for sharing the article @Curryong.

[sandy]

I hope her children are tending her grave.

[oak_and_cedar]

I think that perhaps she choose that spot because it was a place of her own, where she lived her life and came into her own so to speak.

This part is particularly moving:

"However, it was the death of two of her children that shaped Mrs Shand Kydd and perhaps led those who met her to believe she was a brittle, damaged woman. Indeed, she once described leaving a shop dry-eyed when a woman broke down in front of her, sobbing that she loved and missed Diana. "I?ve cried in public only once since Diana died," she said. "I know it doesn?t matter, but I always felt if I started I might never stop."


Frances was not a perfect. She made mistakes. But I personally believe that she was a decent, genuine, and intelligent woman that loved her family. That quote says it all really. She has been unfairly maligned I feel.

And people have been allowed to form judgements about her based on the commentary of people with their own axe to grind such as Burrell, Simmons, and to an extent Khan. IMO.

May she rest in peace.

[dianab]

I think that perhaps she choose that spot because it was a place of her own, where she lived her life and came into her own so to speak.

imo she wasnt the most maternal woman out there, her choice wasnt/isnt that surprising...
Double post auto-merged: August 28, 2019, 08:53:42 PM

i disagree she was unfairly maligned... she was portrayed as women who put one man above of her children.

i dont know what was her relations with sarah and jane, but when charles s and diana were living awfully messy, traumatic and unhappy marriages she wanted nothing to do with their problems and all what they were going through
Double post auto-merged: August 28, 2019, 08:59:32 PM

i think diana's caring, sympathetic and compassive nature is very likely she got of her paternl grandmother. her own mother appeared to be the opposite

[sandy]

Frances S. told her biographer she saw problems with Diana and Charles getting engaged but kept them to herself. she had a hands off attitude. If she had just gone to Diana when Diana was worried about the relationship, maybe Diana could have backed out. Her sisters were of no help to DIana either.

Frances S. married too young. John Spencer blaming her for not having a living male child was really very wrong and they grew apart even after Charles was born.

[oak_and_cedar]

Frances made a mistake by being hands off I agree. But she did what she could later on during the marriage. And has shown loyalty towards Diana. She was maligned unfairly IMO.
Double post auto-merged: August 29, 2019, 08:46:14 PM

imo she wasnt the most maternal woman out there, her choice wasnt/isnt that surprising...

i disagree she was unfairly maligned... she was portrayed as women who put one man above of her children.

i dont know what was her relations with sarah and jane, but when charles s and diana were living awfully messy, traumatic and unhappy marriages she wanted nothing to do with their problems and all what they were going through

i think diana's caring, sympathetic and compassive nature is very likely she got of her paternl grandmother. her own mother appeared to be the opposite

She married when she was very young and her much older husband made unreasonable demands on her. She was maternal IMO. Why else did she go to court to fight for custody? It had to take the combined effort of Earl Spencer and her own mother to sway the judgment of the court against her.

She even visited PC&PD when they were married and stood up to PC when he made remarks about PH.

Frances doing charity even until old age shows that Diana it from both sides of the family IMO.

I personally believe that her so called hands off approach comes from a trauma of sorts from having a domineering, interfering mother and a husband with a strong personality who was unreasonable when she didn't give birth to a boy. Not an entirely unreasonable reaction on Frances behalf, IMO.