Power and timing of the heirs for Diana

[TLLK]

I feel that the problem was, when she and Charles DID have time together, and were able to "get to know each other", they didn't really enjoy each other.  It was when they were together that they realised how little they had in common.

Sadly this was an important factor in the demise of their relationship. It's too bad that they were engaged so quickly. :no:

[sandy]

They were of different generations! If Charles wanted mutual friends then he should have found someone closer to his age or from the Highgrove set. He can't have everything. He needed the young inexperienced fertile girl, I think that was his major goal. Bedell Smith his biographer said he did not really need to marry, and if he did not need  the legitimate heirs he may not have married at all.

Charles friends were his friends. Though they were nice to Diana's face. Diana had her own loyal friends however. Charles probably considered them "too young" or not in the "right" circle of people.

It is also too bad Charles was not more honest with Diana before he proposed. And give her a chance to move on if she knew she could not live under the conditions he expected of her.

[TLLK]

It is also too bad Charles was not more honest with Diana before he proposed

IMO it's too bad that neither of them were honest with each other about many things. He should have obviously been more upfront regarding his expectations about their relationship. Diana should not have indicated that she enjoyed Charles' interests while in truth she didn't care for them. :shrug:

[amabel]

Sadly this was an important factor in the demise of their relationship. It's too bad that they were engaged so quickly. :no:

I think it was inevitable. I don't believe a longer courtship would have really made any difference.  But I m not sure if had they waited a couple of years to start a baby, as young royal couples do today, would it have maybe reduced Di's stress levels and MAYBE given them a chance of a better start to the marriage.  I tend to think it was pretty hopeless, as a marriage but you never know.  I think they were botht keen to start a family, and problaby both hoped it would give them an interest in common when they were realising that they had not got much... But I'm sure that her being ill with bulimia, and anxiety, and depression and then getting pregnant and feeling ill and tired and worried, on top of all the other problems may have really been the tipping point.
Double post auto-merged: November 09, 2017, 02:30:15 PM

IMO it's too bad that neither of them were honest with each other about many things. He should have obviously been more upfront regarding his expectations about their relationship. Diana should not have indicated that she enjoyed Charles' interests while in truth she didn't care for them. :shrug:

I don't see that he was dishonest/whatever about his expectations of the relationship.  He had said often that HIS marriage had to last and that a friendship-partnership was what he felt was the best basis for a marriage.  He did as far as I know tell her that he had loved other women, including CaMilla, but that he now loved her. 

[Duch_Luver_4ever]

I think in terms of the fairytale as sold, yes, it was a hopeless dream that it would happen, however, I do think there was a window, small as it may have been, for Diana to have grown into a more pragmatic view of marriage.

Much like a lot of her interests changed and grew over her life, and moved closer to Charles in terms of charity work, running her own office, etc. from just being the "plus one" on whatever her husband went to, I also think her idea of their relationship and the marriage may have become more realistic had they if not waited longer to marry, or be more honest, at least having the kids later would have given her more time, like the butterfly emerging from the chrysalis, properly unfurl her wings and be able to fly on her own, so to speak.

Instead, she kind of got squeezed out in a hurry, and I dont think she recovered from that.

[sandy]

IMO it's too bad that neither of them were honest with each other about many things. He should have obviously been more upfront regarding his expectations about their relationship. Diana should not have indicated that she enjoyed Charles' interests while in truth she didn't care for them. :shrug:

Diana IMO like any girlfriend was trying to get to know her boyfriend. I always compare it to women who date men who love football and they are lukewarm about it. They may go with them to the games not before they are interested but it is a way of spending time with their boyfriends.

What Charles needed to tell Diana was a whole lot more serious (everything he expected and I mean everything) than what she would have needed to tell him. He could have told her he expected her to accept Camilla as being part of his life (maybe admitting how he really felt about her) but all she had to do was say she did not like the country as much as the city. But there are photos of her in Fall 1982 showing her accompanying Charles hunting. It's out there. And this  over a year after the marriage. So she did try. Charles revelations were a whole lot more serious IMO. He should have been up front with her about Camilla's real role in his life.

Charles also knew she did not ride or hunt. It was in the media before their wedding for one thing. So there should not have been a great surprise on his part.
Double post auto-merged: November 09, 2017, 11:47:03 PM

I think it was inevitable. I don't believe a longer courtship would have really made any difference.  But I m not sure if had they waited a couple of years to start a baby, as young royal couples do today, would it have maybe reduced Di's stress levels and MAYBE given them a chance of a better start to the marriage.  I tend to think it was pretty hopeless, as a marriage but you never know.  I think they were botht keen to start a family, and problaby both hoped it would give them an interest in common when they were realising that they had not got much... But I'm sure that her being ill with bulimia, and anxiety, and depression and then getting pregnant and feeling ill and tired and worried, on top of all the other problems may have really been the tipping point.
Double post auto-merged: November 09, 2017, 02:30:15 PM
I don't see that he was dishonest/whatever about his expectations of the relationship.  He had said often that HIS marriage had to last and that a friendship-partnership was what he felt was the best basis for a marriage.  He did as far as I know tell her that he had loved other women, including CaMilla, but that he now loved her. 

Charles did not tell this to his biographers (Dimbleby and Bedell Smith). Bedell Smith claims he hoped to "learn to love" Diana which meant he did not love her when he married her. He told Dimbleby he preferred Camilla when he married DIana.

There is no record of Charles telling Diana he "now" loved her after his previous relationships. Diana never said this and neither did Charles.

One thing, Charles may have delayed (if he had the intention of doing so) leaving Diana's bed  if they had waited. He may also have waited if the first children were daughters and tried for the male heir. I think Charles felt himself "old" (and he was rather an old soul in outlook)  when he married and maybe he felt he wanted to start the family with Diana soon after the marriage.

What made it hopeless was Charles preferring another woman. IMO. I think it would have helped if Highgrove did not have such close proximity to Bolehyde, home of the Parker Bowleses.