Duch_Luver_4ever Digest #4

[Duch_Luver_4ever]

So glad to see the Diana board up again, thanks Windsor for getting it back up again. So I thought time for another digest. this one is inspired by the recent articles.

One of the key points thats mentioned in the breakdown of the Wales's marriage was the fact that neither could take care of the other. But given that Diana used the affection from the public and the good feelings she got from visiting sick people, etc. to make up for the lack of affection from her husband, I have two questions...

Do you think if Charles had loved her and shown the love, care and nurturing affection she craved she'd have used her famous caring and compassion on him? and if so do you think it would have changed the amount and types of causes she took on?

[TLLK]

I would like to think that it could have happened @Duch_Luver_4ever and consider what they would have been able to achieve if they'd had a real partnership.

[Duch_Luver_4ever]

my 2 cents are that it was that shaky foundation at the start of the marriage and her being able to "read" that Charles wasnt head over heels in love with her that caused her to seek a surrogate for those feelings outwardly, which of course made her publicity all the more divisive, leading Charles away from her, and down their respective roads.

Had he been able to "take care of his woman" I think, while she would have been flattered with the public adoration, I do think there was some subconscious thing going on between her and her fans, in that she needed their attention as much as they wanted to give it to her, which fed and fanned the flames of attention.

I recall on the day I saw her, which im sure was just a regular day on the trail for her, she gave one the feeling that she needed a hug and a good meal (and odd thing for someone youd think had "everything"), even though she was smiling and "on" so to speak, and that was well before we knew about the bulimia, etc. and I think whether people knew it or not, they were picking up on that, and it made her go from just another famous person to someone they felt connected to.

Ironically, I think shed have been much less effective as a global ambassador for her causes if she had a happy domestic life. Not that she wouldnt have cared greatly, and still done groundbreaking work (hold your letters LOL). Its just theres a difference between doing something as an adjunct to a happy, contented life, and doing it as a lifeline, both for positive feedback, and as a cudgel to browbeat the Windors.

[TLLK]

I think, while she would have been flattered with the public adoration, I do think there was some subconscious thing going on between her and her fans, in that she needed their attention as much as they wanted to give it to her, which fed and fanned the flames of attention.

I agree because I believe that if you are content with yourself and your situation in your personal, professional life etc...you are less likely to seek out  affection, praise, acceptance etc.. from others outside of your personal and professional relationships.

Of course we all need affirmations from others, but if it's lacking in your closest interpersonal relationships you are going to seek it from other groups including those which might not be in our best interests. (This is why gangs and cults can be so successful at recruiting members who have troubled backgrounds)

[Curryong]

If you look at international celebrities who have reached legendary status after catching the public's attention in some way, Marilyn Monroe for example, they have all had a vulnerability, an air of sadness about them in one way or another.

It was that which people felt with Diana. Even before the War of the Wales broke out people could sense that this woman who supposedly had everything was not as happy as the PR spin was making it. Although Diana would have still tackled land mines, AIDS etc IMO, as her compassion for others was evident even as a schoolgirl, if she had been extraordinarily happy in her private life that extra dimension wouldn't have been there.

[amabel]

I don't think that she was perceived as being "sad" in the early years.. the only thing that might have made people wonder was her weight loss.  but that could be glossed as "too much dieting" or trying to look slim for the cameras.
It wasn't until some years inot the marriage that the stories of problems began to be more persistent and royal watchers were increasingly thinking that the marriage wasn't working out.  and then I think people did see her as vulnerable and sad, and perhaps struggling to put up iwht a  not very happy marriage to keep up appearances for the RF.  It was still an axiom that divorce wasn't possible and I don't think that most people thought that she would have an affair.  I think it was a shock around 1990 or so, when it seemed to be the case that she was flirting with other men and Hewitt' was dropping his hints.  And even when he put out his little book, I don't think that anyone expected Di to confirm that it was true.
So yes I think by around 1989 or 90, people were perceiving her as not very happy, perhaps in a lonely difficult marriage with only her boys to console her...