Former bodyguard speak out on late Diana,princess of Wales everything

[sara8150]

The bodyguard who saw EVERYTHING: How Diana once flirted with Pavarotti, jumped 20ft from a hotel balcony and travelled 'goat class' with a hen party in a desperate attempt to be normal
Diana: by Ken Wharfe, the bodyguard who saw everything | Daily Mail Online

Double post auto-merged: July 22, 2017, 04:46:26 PM

Princes Diana BOMBSHELL: Insider lifts lid on 'cover up' crash death
Princess Diana death cover up after car crash - book claims over Dodi Fayed | Royal | News | Express.co.uk
Double post auto-merged: July 22, 2017, 04:47:19 PM

Princess Diana and her desperate bid to 'leap to freedom from being caged'
Princess Diana's bodyguard writes book about her desire to be normal | Royal | News | Express.co.uk

[royalanthropologist]

My take is that Diana wanted her husband to show attention or even that he cared. The fact that he could brazenly flaunt the affair must have been shocking and deeply hurting. I know that when she was ill, the mood swings could turn him off but if you really love someone, you see them through those tough times when they are not the ideal partner. Instead Charles just checked out. Diana was left hanging with lots of questions, insecurities and unresolved furies. Her own affairs were not satisfactory because they had really been designed to get her husband's attention at the very least or even make him jealous if possible. Instead he invited one of her boyfriends to his birthday, as if to confirm that he could not care less.

If you have said your vows to someone and had kids with them but they cannot even be bothered to hide their affair from you; it shows that they really no longer care. Diana's behavior in response comes across as acting up and immaturity but in reality it is a normal response to a form of spousal abuse that is known as "withdrawing" in psychology. The other person starts treating you as if you do not exist and do not really matter. They can be polite and seemingly friendly, but you are in no doubt that they absolutely have no interest in you as a romantic partner. They no longer share information with you about their life, refuse to have sex with you and generally keep away.

[amabel]

so if he was "not evene trying to hide his affair" from her how come he was doing things like askng the servants to lie for him, circling things in the Radio Times to pretend he was having   quiet evening with the TV, whne he was actualy going to Camilla's?

[royalanthropologist]

Charles went through phases. I will use the example of an adoptive child-parent relationship to try and explain what happened at the psychological level.

In the courtship he was the kind of "fatherly figure" (albeit often absent) that Diana could project all her hopes and dreams of a happy marriage. During and after the wedding, that father figure became somewhat irritated by this difficult child who demanded time, sex and attention. She was so different to the mistresses he had had before who came into his life when he needed them and cleared off when he didn't. He became the angry and disapproving but ultimately incompetent parent. Telling the difficult child not to be so naughty and not to show him up in public.

When she refused to obey, he became the trapped foster parent who responded to the child's acting up with put downs, escapades, furtive telephone calls to his lover and reporting all her antics to his friends. During this phase he made some of the attempts to cover up that @amabel referenced. He thought this was an overbearing child who was slightly unhinged. The doctors couldn't make her what he wanted her to be and he was not going to bother humoring her any more. Charles believed that he needed to escape from this terrible child so it was best not to let her know what was really going on; for a quiet life at least.

As the quarrels continued, Charles retreated into the exhausted and indifferent foster parent. He went back to one of his former mistresses who made no demands on him and was absolutely amenable in every way when he saw her. This difficult child at home, he completely abandoned and left to her own devices. He hoped that she would find a few toys to play with and stop disturbing him.

When the child still refused and actually started interfering with his work and reputation; Charles became the controlled but vengeful failed parent. He made the separation official and did everything in his power to ensure that this child learnt a very important lesson, never to cross him or his family again. As the child made increasingly erratic and damaging decisions to get his attention, Charles told his friends  and family " I told you so, she is mad, mad, mad"

When the child met an untimely end, Charles grieved like a parent grieves for a difficult foster child who has met an unfortunate end. He wished she had not been his child but rationalized that he did the best that he could in the circumstances. Charles then focused on his new life and decided to engage in selective memory or selective amnesia. That difficult child and the difficult time they spent together would be consigned to history as if she never really happened.

That is my take from a psychological point of view. 

[amabel]

realy?

[royalanthropologist]

Certainly my take. Diana wanted a replacement father and Charles a replacement mother. The resultant dysfunction can be explained by that fundamental mismatch.

[amabel]

I think Diana needed a  mother more than a father.

[Trudie]

My take is that Diana wanted her husband to show attention or even that he cared. The fact that he could brazenly flaunt the affair must have been shocking and deeply hurting. I know that when she was ill, the mood swings could turn him off but if you really love someone, you see them through those tough times when they are not the ideal partner. Instead Charles just checked out. Diana was left hanging with lots of questions, insecurities and unresolved furies. Her own affairs were not satisfactory because they had really been designed to get her husband's attention at the very least or even make him jealous if possible. Instead he invited one of her boyfriends to his birthday, as if to confirm that he could not care less.

If you have said your vows to someone and had kids with them but they cannot even be bothered to hide their affair from you; it shows that they really no longer care. Diana's behavior in response comes across as acting up and immaturity but in reality it is a normal response to a form of spousal abuse that is known as "withdrawing" in psychology. The other person starts treating you as if you do not exist and do not really matter. They can be polite and seemingly friendly, but you are in no doubt that they absolutely have no interest in you as a romantic partner. They no longer share information with you about their life, refuse to have sex with you and generally keep away.

Congratulations you are finally seeing the light  :eureka!:

[royalanthropologist]

I have always had a nuanced picture of Diana through out. Many people assume that I disliked or hated her...which is not true. I neither believe that she was a perfect saint nor do I believe that she was this evil person who manipulated her way through life. She is just a very interesting person with lots of dimensions to her personality. The fact that most of her crises were played out in the media meant that many of us got a chance to stick our oars in...so to speak.

That is why I get so frustrated by some of her biographies because they are so shallow and without the kind of depth of analysis that is required to illuminate such a complex character. The current writer is a classic example. He describes a boat trip but cannot explain the behavior of the various actors. Instead he resorts to simplistic explanations of a cheating husband and a childish wife. There is a lot more going on that he cannot possibly understand...but again his job was to guard Diana, not write biographies about her.

Let me give you an example: if Charles had come looking for Diana and found her, the rest of the trip would have gone smoothly. Yet again she had to make do with the wrong man...her body guard. Plus Diana knew that Charles was probably going to retell the entire story to Camilla as soon as he got to the phone.

[Trudie]

@royalanthropologist  this is what a few of us has been saying for years. Diana was no saint we all know this however, the abuse she suffered at the hands of Charles and the RF and Camilla and make no mistake abuse is not always physical. Charles started checking out the minute the wedding was over though he still had his duty to produce heirs. Diana always wanted Charles but she was too immature to really cope with winning over her husband who was basically an old man at 32. If Charles had really shown any real interest the events that unfolded would have been avoided including Diana taking on Hewitt as a lover in a bid to make Charles jealous. Diana would have never looked at another man had she been lucky enough to have had a husband who saw marriage as the joining of two people in love and not as a requirement to fulfill a job.