Prince William on family and silver linings since Diana's death

Started by HsHCharlene, July 10, 2014, 12:12:41 AM

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HsHCharlene


TLLK

Wow that must have been a terrible ordeal for those young men and their sister when their parents were killed in the tsunami. To be inspired by them and to create housing for orphans is very commendable. These brothers have found their silver lining IMO with this project and going on with their lives.
Good luck to those young people who are going to be involved in this leadership program throughout the Commonwealth.

BTW Glad to read that William paid tribute to HM by noting her ascension to the throne at a young twenty five years of age and acknowledging her dedication to the Commonwealth.


Lothwen

I hate to be a critic, but...



I personally hate it when people make other peoples' tragedies all about them.  When William and Kate were visiting the charity that dealt with bereaved parents, he brought up his mother.  Now he's bringing up his mother at this event. 

I understand that he's trying to show empathy, but it's just something that bothers me. 
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Harryite 12-005

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Canuck

Did it equally bother you when Harry brought up Diana while visiting orphans during his South America tour?

Limabeany

William never seems to evoke feelings of empathy when he talks about Diana, it's like he doesn't speak from the heart, it just feels business-like somehow. Even the reporters don't see the emotion in William when he talks about her, they never report seeing that as they do with Harry... William just feels like an actor.

Quote
The Duke of Cambridge has described having his own family as the "silver lining" in his life following the tragedy of his mother's death.

The Duke, who was 15 when Diana, Princess of Wales died in 1997, said people who lose parents at a young age have to simply "dust yourself off and carry on".

He made the comments to two brothers who lost their parents in the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami, during a reception to launch an award for young leaders.
It's like he has no empathy with people suffering at all... Dust yourself off?

"You don't have to be pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked 'female'." Diana Vreeland.

HsHCharlene

^ :lol:  That's what I thought when I read that. I knew what he was trying to say but it came off as a bit distanced. Kind of like just get over it, but I know that's not how he really meant it. Harry did bring up Diana in Brazil but he came across a different way. He basically said, I feel like my experience was nothing compared to these children. William's was like YOU need to get over it.  :teehee:

PrincessOfPeace

I know people who say Harry cries tears of real blood when he talks about Diana.

Pamela

I think William has very deep feelings about his family, and particularly about his mother's death; but I think he has erected a protective shield between himself and others (especially the media) that he works very hard to maintain. It's like he's too aware of everyone's prying eyes and judging attitudes to relax his emotions. Harry, I don't think, has that sense of awareness, which is probably a blessing. Not sure why I think this this, just my feelings on it.   :shrug:

Curryong

Yes, Pamela, I agree. As the older of her two sons I think he was privy to a lot of confidences from Diana. I do think William is the more introverted of the two and has internalised a lot of things.

Ladyelena

My Dad died when I was 15 and my Mom when I was 21 that was nearly 35 years ago, I understand what Prince William was trying to say. That burning in your chest feeling is still there, but over time it becomes a more manageable ache. You can't make the grief becomes you. You pick yourself up and you carry on. When you hear others speak about personal tragedy you empathize, but the crying feeling behind your eyes are not there.

Canuck

I think the audience matters.  Harry was talking to/about children, and their parents hadn't died all that long ago.  Will was speaking to adults who lost their parents 10 years ago.  In the latter case, they had in fact picked themselves back up and got on with it -- they were there talking about a wonderful charity that they started as a result. 

I don't think Will was saying don't grieve at the time it happens, he just remarked on how you have to keep going and not let it break you.  The young men he was talking to seemed to understand what he was saying just fine, and weren't upset about it. 

HsHCharlene

Quote from: PrincessOfPeace on July 11, 2014, 12:36:51 PM
I know people who say Harry cries tears of real blood when he talks about Diana.


No posting Harry compliments on the Willy forum! It's against the rules!!  :laugh10:

TLLK

Quote from: Pamela on July 11, 2014, 01:39:04 PM
I think William has very deep feelings about his family, and particularly about his mother's death; but I think he has erected a protective shield between himself and others (especially the media) that he works very hard to maintain. It's like he's too aware of everyone's prying eyes and judging attitudes to relax his emotions. Harry, I don't think, has that sense of awareness, which is probably a blessing. Not sure why I think this this, just my feelings on it.   :shrug:
I agree.  :goodpost:

TLLK

Quote from: HsHCharlene on July 11, 2014, 02:40:30 PM
Quote from: PrincessOfPeace on July 11, 2014, 12:36:51 PM
I know people who say Harry cries tears of real blood when he talks about Diana.


No posting Harry compliments on the Willy forum! It's against the rules!!  :laugh10:
Perfect response!!!! :teehee: Besides isn't it statues that are supposed to cry?

TLLK

Quote from: Ladyelena on July 11, 2014, 01:51:02 PM
My Dad died when I was 15 and my Mom when I was 21 that was nearly 35 years ago, I understand what Prince William was trying to say. That burning in your chest feeling is still there, but over time it becomes a more manageable ache. You can't make the grief becomes you. You pick yourself up and you carry on. When you hear others speak about personal tragedy you empathize, but the crying feeling behind your eyes are not there.
:hug:

Lothwen

Quote from: Canuck on July 11, 2014, 11:36:30 AM
Did it equally bother you when Harry brought up Diana while visiting orphans during his South America tour?

No, because Harry didn't make those comments to the kids who had lost their mother. If he had, then it would.

I remember right after my mom died, and I told a co-worker and her response was "my uncle killed my aunt and committed suicide! "

That's what William reminds me of
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sandy

It was an odd way to express it. William is not good at making "funny" or "spontaneous" comments. It's like he remembered the Song Look for the Silver Lining and used it. He has an odd way of expressing himself.

Double post auto-merged: July 11, 2014, 11:33:41 PM


Quote from: Limabeany on July 11, 2014, 11:59:30 AM
William never seems to evoke feelings of empathy when he talks about Diana, it's like he doesn't speak from the heart, it just feels business-like somehow. Even the reporters don't see the emotion in William when he talks about her, they never report seeing that as they do with Harry... William just feels like an actor.

Quote
The Duke of Cambridge has described having his own family as the "silver lining" in his life following the tragedy of his mother's death.

The Duke, who was 15 when Diana, Princess of Wales died in 1997, said people who lose parents at a young age have to simply "dust yourself off and carry on".

He made the comments to two brothers who lost their parents in the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami, during a reception to launch an award for young leaders.
It's like he has no empathy with people suffering at all... Dust yourself off?



He must have listened to Fred Astaire's singing Pick yourself Dust yourself off. It's as if he likes the oldies: Look for the Silver Lining and Pick yourself up dust yourself off and start all over again. Maybe he watched Astaire the night before the event.

Limabeany

Quote from: HsHCharlene on July 11, 2014, 12:24:55 PM
^ :lol:  That's what I thought when I read that. I knew what he was trying to say but it came off as a bit distanced. Kind of like just get over it, but I know that's not how he really meant it. Harry did bring up Diana in Brazil but he came across a different way. He basically said, I feel like my experience was nothing compared to these children. William's was like YOU need to get over it.  :teehee:
:hug: I didn't take it as saying they need to get over it, but not coming from a place where he even knows or remembers how difficult it is to get over it. That is what I mean by a lack of empathy.
"You don't have to be pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked 'female'." Diana Vreeland.

psm

I understand what he means and he was talking to people who have lost their parents a long time ago and moved on. So he was basically saying, that is indeed the way to go.

However I am bothered by the whole silver lining thing. I don't think there is a silver lining to losing one's parent so early in life.

TLLK

IMO he meant that you have to look for the positive in life when you've been dealt with sadness or turmoil in your past. In other words you learn to appreciate the happy times because you've already experienced the worst of them.

Rebound

Goodness, so many complaints about the way William mourns his mother. I'm sure you all know by now that there is no right way to mourn. Everyone is an individual. I can tell you from personal experience that it is very difficult to lose a mother in your teenage years. You never really get over it, but you keep going on until you find your own silver lining. And sometimes you mourn, even tens of years later, then dust yourself off and keep going. William was showing empathy with his comments.

Those young people found a way to salve their hurt and honor their mother. When you are young and lose a mother, you eventually find a way to solace in having your own family and learning from your experience. William meant no self-pity or insult, contrary to what his detractors think. He has found a silver lining, a way to live beyond losing his mother. That's a wonderful thing.

TLLK, you said it all, and without writing a thesis.  :)

TLLK

You're welcome. My family has been dealt more than one tragedy like many others. Sadly the early deaths and illnesses were in my generation. As a family our best recovery was to appreciate the happiness when it came around.

Macrobug

Everyone grieves differently and who are we to say that that way is wrong?  William was talking to adults who lost their parents years ago.  IMO nothing was said that was insensitive.  After 10 years I hope that the person has been able to move on.  Never forget, always miss the departed, always love.  But be able to continue living and adjust and adapt.
GNU Terry Pratchett

Lothwen

I've lost both my mother and my brother to sudden tragedies, and I have no problems with how William grieved his mother, or still grieves her.


This is what bothers me.  It's not that William said you "dust yourself off" or whatever.  If he had said that in an interview, it would be fine.  But here he is, talking to two brothers who had lost both parents, at an event where they were being honored for building the orphanages.  The moment was about them, and with his comments, William made it all about him. 
You may think you're cool, but do you have a smiley named after you?
Harryite 12-005

Okay, fine.  Macrobug is now as cool as I am