Role of the Spencer family in preparing Diana for marriage?

[sandy]

I don't see it as a "custom" in the 20th century, just a spoiled self entitled Prince of Wales doing as he pleased. Maybe back in Henry VIII's time, wives were expected to put up with it. Or as late as the late 19th and early 20th when Alexandra "looked the other way." But Charles even went against the rules, dumped the wife after he had the heir and spare and let the mistress disparage the wife and take over.

[LouisFerdinand]

@Minerva, It was informative to learn Barbara Cartland wrote 723 books.

[Minerva]

Thanks @Duch_Luver_4ever  & @LouisFerdinand  for the info, it appears Barbara Cartland is a prolific writer!

Jackie Collins I thought to be an acquaitance of Camilla Parker-Bowles ( could be incorrect on this one so don't treat this as anything but spurious speculation) she has an OBE for a reason.

[Duch_Luver_4ever]

Youre welcome @Minerva thats some interesting info on Jackie Collins, I dont know much about her it could certainly be possible shed be the right age, etc to know CPB. As far as Romance novels shaping Dianas views on love and marriage it was the Cartland books in the 70s that did the bulk of that, so I spent most of my effort on those.

I don't see it as a "custom" in the 20th century, just a spoiled self entitled Prince of Wales doing as he pleased. Maybe back in Henry VIII's time, wives were expected to put up with it. Or as late as the late 19th and early 20th when Alexandra "looked the other way." But Charles even went against the rules, dumped the wife after he had the heir and spare and let the mistress disparage the wife and take over.

Well if you look at the amount of infidelity that goes on now and in the past(the doc on George V talks about it a bit, and think about anytime you hear the history of an upper crust family, they are rife with mistresses and illegitimate children, etc.), its rife in society, and more so in the upper classes.

When you think about it from a practical point of view, it makes sense, they cant divorce due to splitting the titled estate, so they each find happiness with others and the childrens inheritance stays intact. I recommend this documentary The mistress of Prince Charles part 1 of 5 - YouTube on Dale Tryon and Camilla, it talks a lot about the rules of the game and you can see it played out in the whole "War of the Wales".

I dont doubt what Charles did was wrong, and Camilla for that matter, but its wrong I think to just take the usual emotional reaction most of us have to what happened, and what im reading in the thread without asking the bigger "why".

The point of the thread is to examine how it was that Diana would have such little information of how aristocratic marriages worked being at the foot of one of the great families of Britain, and someone like Camilla who was nothing to write home about family history wise, had such a keen knowledge of the "game".

I'll use an example to illustrate my point of this thread.....Its like sending a kid off to college and not teaching him to lock his doors, if someone steals his stuff, yes that person is bad to do so, but isnt that kids parents bad for not teaching the kid to lock his doors? I think so, and someone in Dianas circle did not teach her to go into marriage with her mind open and her heart protected.

Its easy to say C&C/RFwere villains and Diana/Spencers was innocent, which is  mostly true, but thats not the whole story, theres people out there that in my view, have skated by historical scrutiny and public censure for not preparing this woman for what was to come. After all, it was at that time assumed the two of them could not divorce, and it was necessary for the marriage to work to produce and heir and for them to reign as King and Queen Regent one day. So there were more than just C&C negligent in the matter, as tough as it is to hear, the Spencer family & her friends did in this respect, let Diana down, and as one of many who wanted the best for Diana, I want to know who and why, and those people should get the proper amount of public scrutiny.

Of course the larger question that this one, is that it seems that she was almost "destined" to be a sacrificial offering to the world at large. Had she been so prepared as I wish she had, she might have walked away from the marriage, then, no Di Mania, no William and Harry, no large amount of charitable works done by her and others inspired by her.

It was almost like she had to go through all that for us, while no doubt shed have done lots of charity work, it seemed that she excelled so well at it and did so much of it, as a comfort for the suffering she had gone through in the marriage. Its possible if shed had either a happier marriage with Charles, or someone else, shed have been much less effective in her charitable work, so in a way, the world is much better off for it, but its still very sad that she had to go through all that to be able to do what she did in life.

Theres a great article written around the time of her passing that neatly describes some of our feelings (i know it describes mine very well) Clive James on Diana

[TLLK]

Since the question regarding how much did Diana know about her fiance's role arose in the "How Did Diana do in School" thread here is a good one from last summer.

I have to say that I miss @Duch_Luver_4ever's contributions to the Diana board.

[royalanthropologist]

So do I. @Duch_Luver_4ever's was very good to me when I first came here, showing me the ropes. We stand at different viewpoints but I like the banter and sharing of ideas. Very, very sorely missed on this forum.

[LouisFerdinand]

@Duch_Luver_4ever liked the different topics I submitted about Diana Frances.